


DUEL-OFF

by notspicy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Duelling, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), dada, jily, maybe some smut if I get around to it, original DADA professor, silly drabble to take my mind off the world lol, silly fic, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notspicy/pseuds/notspicy
Summary: In which James and Sirius face off (or- show off) in DADA, bets are placed, and almost all parties leave satisfied.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	DUEL-OFF

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this prompt by MischeifPrompted on Tumblr: "In a rare show of how brilliant they actually are, James and Sirius are chosen to duel as a demonstration in DADA."

Seventh year is a very strange time, between teachers who are pushing their students toward an unstable future, deaths and disappearances being reported on every morning- and Remus’ own fear of what his future will hold, so it is not unwelcome that they take DADA outside today, while the weather is still perfectly fall.   
"Today class, we will be having a practical lesson," Professor Stagghart says, waving her hands a little. Remus is sitting on his knees, trying not to stain his pants in the grass. Sirius looks over at Remus, and raises his brows expectantly. He quirks a smile. James glances over toward Lily, who turns her head away from him. Peter is holding hands with April Leveret under her robes, so Remus isn't sure how conscious of the lesson he is.   
"We, as civilly and mature as I know you are capable of, are going to have a duel off."   
There is an uproar of cheers, some scared gasps from the Hufflepuffs, and two very excited cheers sitting next to Remus.   
"I-!" Professor Stagghart raises her arms, and James and Sirius turn around like two dogs after a squirrel. "I am going to split you up into two teams, each person facing off until we are left with just two- one from each team. The winner-"   
"I will already declare myself!" James rises, raising an arm before taking a very posh bow.   
"James, shut. up." Lily grits her teeth. Snivellus rolls his eyes.   
"James you can suck my-" Sirius yells, punching his calf. Remus grabs his shirt.  
"That is enough, boys." Professor Stagghart has a soft spot for James and Sirius. Remus thinks its because she hangs around Professor McGonagall. "Once I call your names, please find your team." She sighs, and unfurls a piece of parchment.   
"Team Basilisk: Mr. Snape, Ms. Talkalot, Ms. Mckinnon, Mr. Lupin, Ms. Fortescue-" Professor Stagghart smirks, while continuing on. Her first team is pretty evenly square, and Remus isn't too unhappy with his competition: he might even make it to be up against Lily if he's the only marauder on his side. "And lastly, Mr. Potter. Please make your way to-"   
"Um, professor, I believe you've forgotten me," Sirius raises his hand, smirking. "Because if you expect me to go up against Jamie, there will be casualties." He winks at her, and she waves him off.   
"Mr. Black, you will be on team werewolf, along with Ms. Evans, Ms. MacDonald, Ms. Vanity, Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Pettigrew, Ms..."   
Sirius' eyes glaze over a bit, with a similar gleam that James is wearing. He doesn't even make a "team werewolf" joke, he's so focused on James.   
"I'm afraid your going to embarrass yourself in front of Evans, Prongs." Sirius whispers. James raises his brow.   
"You're dead wrong, Black. You are royally fucked." James points a finger in Sirius' chest.   
"Oh, you're on." Sirius leans into James. Peter has turned from his date (whom he's been separated from in teams) to watch the two homo-erotically play fight. "But whats in it for me?"   
James grins. "If you win, I'll leave the dorm to you and Moony for the whole weekend." Sirius makes a face, like this isn't good enough. "and I'll throw a rager in your honor, declaring you the better wizard."   
"Hey-" Peter begins, and then Remus shoots him a look.   
"And if you win, which- you won't." Sirius says, "I will have Moony sweet talk Evans for you, and then find a distraction for you and Lily to end up in the common room- alone, together."  
Remus is almost willing to put up with Sirius' bidding his talents to watch this play out.   
"What do you say, Wormy," Remus knocks Peter's shoulder, "throw in a few galleons on a wager? I'm, unfortunately, partial to Padfoot."  
"I'll put 10 galleons on James." Peter sticks his hand out, and Remus takes it.   
"You hear that Pads?" Remus grins. Sirius raises his brows.   
"I think I'll need some motivation." He pouts.   
Remus leans into him, pressing a hand on his knee. "Think of a treat for this weekend, then. Anything you want to do. As long as you win." Remus whispers.   
Sirius shoots up, just as Professor Stagghart has finished his team.   
"Please, make your way to your team." She shouts, above moving feet and chattering. "And boys!" She finds James and Sirius' eyes. "Play. Fair."   
James and Sirius both giggle. "No promises!"   
"Remus, strategy-" James grabs his shoulder, eyes a little crazy, as they make their way to the right side of the field. "You take out as many people as you can, I'll do the same, so I can get to Sirius."  
"James, I'm betting against you." Remus turns his head up just a bit- if he didn't know James Potter as intimately as he does, you would miss a flash of insecurity, worry of going against Sirius. It is untested who of them is the better duelist- as they've never been on opposites sides before.   
"I know. But don't you want that weekend? You have to keep him in the game until I can beat his ass." That gleam is gone from his eyes then by the end of his sentence.   
"Deal."   
Two even lines form across the grass: Peter and his girlfriend have chosen to go against Mary and Marlene, probably to get out early, but still get credit. James is against Bertha Jorkins, an easy win. Sirius has Bertram Aubrey across him- a bold choice- and he wins by a narrow margin. Remus goes against Emma Vanity, and she puts up a noble fight, and surrenders after they're duel goes on while everyone else has moved onto a new round.   
Marlene takes Frank out, but Alice gets Mary.   
Snape is lucky he and James are on the same team, because if not, this would turn bloody.   
"Remus! C'mon!" Sirius calls out, dodging a very finely timed stunning spell from a challenging Ravenclaw. "Throw me a bone and take Lily on!"   
Lily finds his eyes, casting an acute Expelliarmus against the Hufflepuff she's opposite. "You are on, Lupin."   
Lily races toward him, casting an almost fatal Rictusempra before ducking in the last second.   
"Nice one!" Remus calls. Lily raises her wand again. "Impedimenta!"  
"Protego!" Lily shouts. "itersempra!"   
Remus jumps (and lands unsteadily- though he hopes Lily doesn't catch that) before shouting: "Relashio!"  
Lily turns to avoid his backfire. "Slick!"   
He grins at her, catching what looks like a much more ruthless duel between Snape and Sirius.   
"Petrificus Totalus!" Snape shouts, which Sirius avoids with a bored look.   
"Locomotor Mortis." Sirius fires, which catches Snape, but he doesn't make his second "Levicorpus."   
"Locomotor vita." Snape casts, his eyes narrowed.   
Lily almost expells Remus' wand before he gets his head back in the game.   
James is having a hard time with a Ravenclaw girl he'd been underestimating, and Remus wishes he could give up to watch James fumble- but he can't let Lily win over James. Sirius would never win against her, and he'd be out of a romantic weekend.   
"Incarcerous!" Lily's ropes shoot out, but miss Remus and trip up Professor Stagghart.   
"Evans! Careful!" James calls, grinning and almost tripping over his own feet. She smiles, just a little bit.   
Sirius ducks to the ground to avoid one of Snape's made-up spells, and casts a quick 'protego' before popping back up on his feet. "Use real spells, Snivellus!"   
"Make me." He breaths. Remus can only hear him since they're fighting almost side by side. "Sectumsemp-" Snape begins, it takes an almost fatal moment for Remus to register what he's saying. Remus shoves him over, catching the brunt of Sirius' expelling charm.   
"Don't you dare." Remus tackles him, pinning Snivellus against the grass. He'd watched Snape create that spell, practicing on creatures- but he never thought he'd... "What do you think you're-!"  
"Lupin! Snape!" Professor Stagghart yells. Sirius stands still, while James watches, barely avoiding the Slytherin he's fighting Jelly-legs jinx. "Both of you! Out! Now!" She grabs Remus' collar, pulling him up and away from Snape.   
"He was using an unregistered curse-" Remus starts, before Lily throws her wand down.   
"What was that!?" She shouts, storming over toward Snivellus. "Was that-?!"   
Professor Stagghart turns around just in time to see Lily punch Snape's already huge nose. "Ms. Evans!"  
Lily pulls away from him, before storming over to Professor Stagghart. "Professor, I can confirm that _that_ was unregistered."   
Professor Stagghart eyes between them, and holds her breath, before rolling her eyes. "Well, get on with it." She waves her hand at James and Sirius.   
Remus grins, as the professor lets go of his collar.   
Snivellus still looks ready for a fight, and Lily does something unimaginable: "Lets go Potter!"   
That is enough for both James and Sirius to regain their composure- and like planned, they face off.   
"Sirius!" Remus shouts, popping up next to Lily. "Sirius! C'mon Sirius!"   
Lily turns to him: "how much do you have bet on this?"  
"A weekend of peace" (though, close to the truth- not the truth.) "and 10 galleons from Pete."   
"Marls bet me 20 and the vodka she smuggled in that James loses." She smiles.   
Remus quirks an eyebrow up. "Then why cheer for him?"  
"Oh-" her smile turns devilish. "it distracts him."   
Remus shoves her, and they turn back to the duel.   
James and Sirius duel like they play-fight; lots of very fond insults mixed with jinxs and an occasional expelling charm.   
"Oooh, sorry Jamie- got'cha." Sirius jinxed off James' eyebrows, and James wholeheartedly laughs.   
"Fuck off pads! Bombarda!" James creates a blast a few feet in front of Sirius, giving himself time to grin at Lily.   
The two seem content in showing off forever, and they just might until Professor Stagghart calls "Step it up, Boys!"   
James and Sirius beam, before both firing with renewed intensity at each other.   
Lily sits back on the heels of her hands, watching James and Sirius call each other names, and smiles sincerely.   
"Anything in it for you other than the bet?" Remus elbows her, she rolls her eyes.   
"We'll see how big of a head he gets."   
"And when he, inevitably, loses:" Remus watches Sirius roll on the ground dramatically. "Perhaps you could do me a favor then, and heal the wounded ego of one James Potter?"  
Lily won't look him in the eye. She just whispers: "Perhaps."   
Remus smirks, turning back to Sirius.   
"Watch out, Sirius!" Remus yells, just as James misses him by a hair- literally. Sirius whips around, and casts a 'Relashio.'  
James turns on his heel, and flashes Lily a very smug smile. Just then, Sirius shoots back a well-timed "JELLY LEGS JINX!"   
James, looking stunned himself, falls back: his legs giving up on him. "Fuck! Un-jellify! Un-"  
"Expelliarmus!" Sirius knocks James wand from him, and the crowd erupts in cheers. (and maybe a disappointed shout from Peter.)   
Remus runs toward Sirius, and in a moment of forgetful spontaneity, hugs Sirius tightly. When they pull apart, Sirius puts his hand on Remus’ shoulder. “You saved my ass.” His voice is light and fond- and makes Remus keep forgetting they’re surrounding by watchful eyes.  
“Protective instinct.” Remus shrugs, whispering. Sirius pats his back in a less-romantic-more-brotherly way, before shooting his hand out to James, whose laying desperately on his back.  
“Sorry mate.” Sirius grins. James plays dead.  
“I’m wounded. A defeat! Never in my wildest-!”  
Lily stands above James. “Get up, Potter.”  
James does as he’s told, and straights up by himself.  
“As a consolation prize: how would you like to be my date to Hogsmeade next weekend?” Lily is smiling, though her voice is much smaller than usual. She barely meets James wild eyes.  
“Y-yeah. Yes! Lily!” James sounds entranced, and she chuckles.   
“Well then. Sounds good.” She turns, and walks off.  
James watches her as she leaves, and Sirius’ mouth falls open.   
“He-! He didn’t even win!” He says, dumbfounded.   
“Would you rather she ask you out?” Remus shoots back.  
Sirius’ head snaps to him. “Of course not, but! James!”  
James starts running off toward the castle, forgetting his bag. “James! This isn’t fair!”  
Remus grabs both their bags, and finds Peter. “What did you say to her?” He says, fishing through his bag for the galleons.   
“Nothing, honestly. Maybe she just felt bad.” Remus chuckles, but something tells him that that's no where near the truth. 

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I've been re-watching Glee? Get me some good fucking food.


End file.
